A Scribble and A Dream (62) - A Lesson for the Mind, A Training for the Heart

I've said it.

I've finally said it out loud on my own.

To other people, and not just keeping it myself.

My composition was not chosen out of the 2000 compositions submitted to Twoset Violin.

Although I immediately felt a pang of disappointment in my heart, I braced myself, and pushed myself to listen to all of the chosen compositions.

And I have to say, they are all really good, really interesting, really outstanding and content worthy.

This is not a sarcasm, but a sincere and fair judgement.

All of the pieces chosen are those that really, really shine.

It does not mean that my piece is bad.

I know my piece is still pretty good, or decent at least.

I wrote this blog even as I'm trying my best to hold my tears and not cry over something like this.

It's just that, TwoSet need to choose the most outstanding ones.

Out of 2000 submissions.

Even piano competitions don't have that many participants to decide from.

That's no easy feat, and they did a great job at that.

I think I learned as well from the creativity of those whose compositions are chosen.

One took inspiration from the local wedding in his community.

One took inspiration from the memes loved by the TwoSet Violin fans.

One took inspiration from Bach.

One took inspiration from Mozart's mirror piece.

And when I look at my piece in retrospect,

I realized how much that I still need to learn.

Maybe the best way to move forward is really by consistently striving and learning, whilst not imposing too many expectations on myself.

And then I am reminded of Shuhei Amamiya's conclusion on the aftermath of his dealing with the bitterness of losing the competition and with his own insecurity in Piano no Mori, "The journey is the same. We just have different starting points."

Well, at the end of it all.

This has been a great lesson for the mind, and a superb training for the heart.

And I don't regret this.
I think, I'll write a piano accompaniment to complete that piece I submitted in the near future.

Afterall, I'm a pianist. :-)

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A Scribble and A Dream (61) - Dangkal (Shallow)

DANGKAL

Manusia dangkal.

Apa itu artinya?

Tak seorangpun mau disebut dangkal.

Tapi kenapa marah?

Kenapa sedih?

Aku memandang sekeliling.

Mereka yang memutuskan untuk vokal.

Suarakan panggilan demi keadilan.

Gemakan seruan ambil tindakan.

Menyebut kebodohan sebagai kebodohan.

Menjadi usikan di tengah khalayak sosial.

Tanpa rasa takut, penuh api membara.

Seperti kau dan sahabat-sahabatmu.

Aku kagum.

Dan aku memandang wajahku di cermin itu.

Manusia yang tak melakukan apa-apa.

Aku yang cuma sibuk urus diri sendiri.

Aku yang cuma berlari dari satu tugas ke tugas lain.

Hari demi hari, hari demi hari.

Cuma tenggelam ditelan arus waktu.

Aku yang jarang bertanya ke yang lain,

"Apa kabarmu?"

"Apa kau baik-baik saja?"

Ah, tak sanggup aku bertanya terus demi basa basi.

Aku yang menolak baca berita,

Dan memilih jadi seperti pertapa di dalam goa.

Karena tak kuasa pahami kisah dunia.

Siapa yang benar-benar benar, dan siapa yang benar-benar salah.

Mungkin...

Inilah dangkal.

Akulah contohnya.

Si manusia dangkal.

Si Wendy yang menolak bertumbuh.

Dan terus mencari dunia Peter Pan.

Akankah kau panggil ku dangkal?

Jika iya pun, tampaknya aku tak peduli lagi.

Karena sesakit apapun rasanya.

Itu fakta, dan aku tak menyangkalinya.

Mungkin aku cuma akan pergi.

Karena itu lebih mudah.

Karena aku tak mau kau berteman

dengan manusia dangkal.

Itu buruk bagimu.

Jadi, kupikir...

Aku pamit dulu.

Merci beaucoup, mon ami.

***