A Scribble and A Dream (13) - Joyfully Single

JOYFULLY SINGLE

Another day has arrived

She wake up, full of hope

That today will be wonderful

She comes to her office

Knowing that a lot of work awaits

Determined to give it the best that she can

She goes on meeting people

Some jokingly teases her

Others kindly asks on her future partner

But her heart is at peace

No longer disturbed...

Because she know

That releasing that desire

She had cling on to so desperately

And surrender it all

To the her Heavenly Father who knows all

Is what gives her freedom

The freedom that she need

To learn to become a bride

A bride to her Heavenly Bridegroom

To He who has died and given all His life

Providing ransom and release

Out of sin's slavery

And as a bride,

She is free to serve Him

To learn to love Him

Seeking Him, listening to Him

Day after day

Learning to please Him

Seeking to become closer to Him

And to become more like Him

Undistracted...

Until the day comes

According to His divine decree

When she will meet her earthly bridegroom

Who will protect her and love her

But most of all, he will guide and lead her

To love her Heavenly Bridegroom even more

So, until that day

She is full of faith

That in His love

She will be joyfully single 😊

A Scribble and A Dream (12) - Suatu Pencerahan

SUATU PENCERAHAN

Kenapa ia tak memikirkannya sejak dulu?
Ya, itulah semua jawaban
Untuk gundah gulananya
Selama dua bulan terakhir ini

Tidak, bahkan lebih dari itu
Inilah jawaban untuk apa yang mengganggu hatinya
Selama bertahun-tahun
Hidupnya sebagai seorang single

Mengapa tampak tak seorang pun yang "mendekatinya"?
Itu adalah suatu sebab-akibat
Jika rumah dan kantor menjadi satu-satunya tempat singgahnya
Jelaslah tak kan ada satu orang pun yang mendekatinya
Karena ia tak akan pernah dekat dengan satu orang pun

Baik pria, baik wanita
Ia harus keluar
Keluar dari cangkang yang melindunginya selama ini

Mengapa tampak tak seorang pun yang "jatuh hati"?
Itu pun adalah suatu sebab-akibat
Jika kesendirian membahagiakan baginya
Dan dunia luar tak mau ia sentuh
Maka ia tak mengerti, apa yang disebut peduli

Sebelum ditemani, ia harus belajar menemani
Sebelum dipedulikan, ia harus belajar mempedulikan
Sebelum didekati, ia harus belajar mendekati
Sebelum dicintai, ia harus belajar mencintai

Belajar menjadi seorang sahabat yang baik
Itulah jawaban bagi semua pertanyaannya

Dan sebuah beban terangkat dari pundaknya
Terlepas dan terbuang jauh

Kini, ia bisa mengucapkan selamat tinggal
Pada seseorang, yang selayaknya tak ada rasa padanya
Pada seseorang, yang baginya, ia bukanlah teman yang sepantasnya
Pada seseorang, yang adalah impian kosong dan harapan muluk

Ia sudah rela
Siapapun itu, entah berapa tahun lagi
Jika ia baru akan berhenti single
Di usia, yang kata orang, terlalu tua

Siapa peduli?
Ia sudah rela, dengan sepenuh hatinya
Ia sudah siap melangkah maju kembali
Lebih cepat dari yang ia duga...

A Scribble and A Dream (11) - Superficial

SUPERFICIAL

She knows...

She has always known...

On the outside

They are her friends

They are on good terms

They are very friendly and warm

But inside her heart,

When it feels like

She needed a friend to turn to

She found no one

Is it that she's afraid to become vulnerable?

Is it that she's afraid to ruin

Her already not-so-perfect mask?

Is it that she trusted no one except herself?

Maybe that's why

When she tried to reached out

She found herself unintentionally shut away by others

Because she has always shut herself in

She has chosen to be untouched by others

And so far,

That's what she thinks is the best for all

So that she will burden no one

No one, except for her so understanding father

'Should you know who I really am

All my deepest emotions and shoutouts

Will you go away in disgust?'

'Yes, I'm very self-absorbed.

And in writing, I keep myself sane.

Keeping hold of this emotions

I thought I must throw away.'

And thus, she ended her scribble for the day

A day that has almost ended

A week that will soon pass away

Preparing for the week that is soon to come

***

A Scribble and A Dream (10) - SMS

SMS

SMS
It stands for:
Short message service

That's how people used to chat
Well, like, 15 years ago
Short messages, with acceptably short replies
Just effective and efficient

But here,
Right now,
Her phone shows a Whatsapp logo,
Yet it feels like an SMS

How could she dare to talk more
If all he ever give is a short, concise reply?
Well, for small, idle talks, that is...

Is he busy? Annoyed?
Does she always pick the wrong time?
Does she disturb him?
Is she annoying?

Except for the serious things
Except for those things that matters
Those that need to be consulted

Other than that,
It is always as short as an SMS reply
With a full stop and a "hehehe... ☺"

She fully understand
That patience is the best answer for her
His mind is full of something else
He's in one of the crucial times in his life

And yet...
She can't do anything for him

As if a "next door neighbour"
Just acquaintances, saying "How do you do?"
Too afraid to step in further
For the fence is closed and locked

Maybe she's just too sentimental
Maybe her expectations grow too fast, too high
Maybe she's just too...
So many a thousand maybe-s spinning in her mind

And here she is,
A girl, too sheltered in the warmth of her house
A girl, too confused to step out of it
A girl, wanting to do something, yet not knowing how

A girl who's puzzled, lost in wondering
A girl, too awkward in her social skills

Maybe she's better off by herself
Maybe she's better off pouring things
In another scribble while dreaming

***

A Scribble and A Dream (9) - Unrequited

UNREQUITED

What is this?
This mind that won't go away
Caught myself thinking about him
Day by day

They say, "You like him"
They say, "It's the start of love"
And maybe, just maybe
I hope that it's true

For I know, I ain't pretty
Just a serious girl with no makeup
Just that girl who is seating across

But everytime I see him, hear him
I just feel so happy, hopelessly glad
Though I know that maybe, so much likely
This is just on my side with no reply

Yet, please let me hope
Please let me try
Please let me pray
Please let me love you, though in vain

For every season,
There's a time
I'm used to it, smiling bittersweet
Please let me be, till I walk away again

UNREQUITED