A Scribble and A Dream (22) - Dalam Gelap Yang Tak Pasti

DALAM GELAP YANG TAK PASTI

Saat kau melihat
Apa yang kau perbuat
Ternyata tak tentu
Sebaik yang kau tahu

Dan isi hatimu
Tersimpan, terkunci
Tak layak berduka
Walau kau pun luka

Kuberjalan dalam g'lap
Yang tak pasti
Mencoba bersabar
Dengan rasa gentar

Hanya bisa terus
Mencoba dan berharap
Tak tahu sampai kapan
Kan ada kesempatan

Dan terus ku bertanya,
Bertanya, bertanya
Akankah ada
Kesempatan kedua?

'Tuk perbaiki semuanya lagi.

***

A Scribble and A Dream (21) - A Jonah, and A Stumbling Block

A Jonah, And A Stumbling Block

Foreword: So, this will be the first time a narrative occured in A Scribble and A Dream series. And as this story has been a good lesson for me, I do hope that it will bless all those who stumbled upon this little post.

***

Have you ever heard of Jonah? That guy who was sent on a prophetic mission by God to Niniveh, rebelled, tried to escape by going the other way around, hurt the sailors in the ship by (indirectly) causing them to face a thunderstorm, then was took back en route to that very city he's fleeing from, and I mean, taken "by force", using the famous big fish' stomach.

Let me tell you one of the modern version of it, and a heartless Jonah at that. One day, a young worship activist in a central church got an urgent call, a modern Jonah. He was asked immediately to replace another musician in a branch church, since the musician in charge that week in that branch, forgot his schedule, and had already bought an inrevokable ticket out of town.

The first thing that came to this modern Jonah's mind was, "I don't want to, what if this will become the door for them to force me to serve in Sunday services in the branches?" And it came to his mind that the musician in the central church, who is also a new friend of his, had also served on a routine basis in that same branch church. This friend, A, was going to serve his first service in the central church. So the unwise solution that arrived on his mind was, "I'm gonna call this guy, and asked whether he can serve for this week in the branch church, and I'll replace him in the central church. Afterall, I'm an activist in the central church!"

Turns out that A has already prepared during the whole week for his first service in the central church (without the modern Jonah realizing) and has also planned to bring his friend to the service as well. The modern Jonah heartlessly told A to give the information of his friend to be followed up by other activist in the central church. A said nothing, and just OK-ed without further comments.

Pondering back in a panicked situation, the modern Jonah thought, "If I forced him to serve in the branch church, I'll be guilty for preventing his friend to come and hear the good sermon!" So he decided to submit to the call to serve in the branch, and ask somebody else to replaced him as the activist, so that A could still serve in the central church and brought his friend along.

When the modern Jonah told A that the reason he's asking to change the roster back, was because he's feeling guilty for preventing A's friend to come, unknowingly, he had badly hurt A's heart for (1) prioritizing A's friend over A, his own friend, and (2) irresponsibly forcing A to switch, effectively nullifying his every preparation for the service in the central church. It quickly escalated, and the more it progressed, the more it hurt A, and also the modern Jonah, until it's very hard to repair for the moment.

The modern Jonah failed to remember, in his effort to escape from the service God has intended him to come, that before A was his colleague in service, firstly, he was his brother in Christ, and therefore did not merit to be treated as such. Rather, he should have think of A's well being first and foremost, honoured, loved and respected A just as he honoured, loved and respected himself.

In the aftermath of the conflict, the modern Jonah also noticed signs that he had become a stumbling block for A, for A mentioned in a very dissappointed tone that perhaps "it's time for me to reflect and reconsider my plan to serve in the central church".

The nail has been nailed on the wall, and although the nail has been taken off, the hole will always be there. The wounded wall will never be the same good wall ever again.

The only thing that the modern Jonah can do is just pray for God's forgiveness on his rebellion, apologize to A, and pray once again to God that one day, according to His time and mercy, A will grant him the forgiveness that he needed. And his last prayer was for God to give His strength to both the modern Jonah and A to keep serving Him, wherever they are, and whatever the case and the condition may be.

During the pondering, the modern Jonah also realized that during his short term of service as a newly appointed activist, he had made 2 mistakes, and the second mistake (with A) is even bigger and heavier than the first mistake, which can still be corrected easily. This made the modern Jonah realize that he was actually unworthy as a servant, an activist, and had actually thought of withdrawing, before God quickly reminded him that this is not wise, and is not according to His will. Every time one of His children stopped serving, the Enemy rejoices greatly, and therefore, he can only humbly pray that God will help him to be a wise and prudent servant in every single service entrusted to him.

***

Now, what I've learned from the above story is:

1. Never treat our fellow servant in the church as a "servant", as if he/she is just another name in the "on duty list" that is easily changed or discarded.

Maybe we never call them such, and we never even intended to do that as well, but the way we act can give that impression. In the end, it will hurt our brethren's heart, until it's too late for us to mend it. The damage is done, and all that's left is a bad testimony and a stumbling block to our brethrens in Christ.

2. Never rebel and run away from God's purpose, lest He'll affect His plan in us in a forceful and hurtful way, both for us and the people around us, who are dear to us.

3. Our responsibility in conflict is was never to defend ourself due to pride. Instead, we are to reflect on our mistake, sincerely ask forgiveness from God and the person that we hurt (directly in a face to face conversation), and be faithful that God will help both parties to reconcile, according to His time and wisdom.

4. Always remember that in whatever we do, humble ourself on God's presence, for we are only "His unworthy servant". He is the only one who can make us worthy for every good endeavour that He entrusted to us.

May the Lord redeemed us and mold us in every single day of our life, to be more Christ-like and serve Him with a joyful heart, until we gladly meet Him face to face in the new heaven and earth.

Soli Deo Gloria.

***

A Scribble and A Dream (20) - Dear Dreamer

Dear Dreamer

Dreamer, dear dreamer

Oh, my dear dreamer

When the moon shines and glimmer

Brightly enveloping the field of flowers

Dreamer, oh dreamer

When musics are floating so softly

Oh, ting-a-ling, a-ling-a-ling

And the stars are dancing so sweetly

Dreamer, go and see

Spread your arms, out wide

Just like a little girl, prance and run

Breathe the fragrant air around

No one is here

Just you, beneath the starry skies

Sing aloud your hearts desire

Waltz amidst the blooming lilies

And dreamer, oh dreamer

Do know, your time will surely come

For you to wake, and dream no more

So please, sing and dance,
With no regrets

Sing and dance, until your heart
Is heavy no more

***

A Scribble and A Dream (19) - The Gift of "No"

The Gift of "No!"

"NO!"

Oh, how we hate the word

When hopes are defied,

Wants are rejected

And wishes are not granted

And yet,

The gift of "No!" 

One of the few, best gifts given

By the One who loved us the most

Through time,

We will learn to see

That the path of "No!"

Is indeed the better one

And that our faithful brothers and sisters,

are the ones who helped us to see

The beauty of the answer, "No!"

May God give us love, strength and wisdom

To bring our thanksgiving with a joyful heart

To learn to see the beauty of His guidance

In every "No!" that is gifted to us

***

A Scribble and A Dream (18) - Penantian Sunyi di Tengah Kabut

Penantian Sunyi

Di Tengah Kabut

Kulayangkan pandang

Kabut, kabut saja adanya

Kabut sejauh mata memandang

Suara desah napas saja yang ada

Tak tahu, sungguh tak tahu

Sering aku bertanya,

"Tuhan, diakah itu?

Dan tampaknya hanya "Bukan" saja jawab-Nya

"Ah, Tuhan, seandainya dia saja..."

"Tuhan, kalau dia, mungkin aku masih bisa

belajar mencintainya..."

"Tampaknya dia cukup baik bagiku..."

Dan setiap kali, di tengah kesunyian

Dalam tiap sepi dalam keramaian

Dalam tiap kenyataan dan pengamatan

Selalu jawaban-Nya, "Bukan dia, anakku..."

Di saat tampaknya,

semua sudah menemukan

Siapa yang akan mereka cari

Di sini aku bertanya-tanya

Apakah aku akan bertemu

Dengan dia yang mencariku?

Yah, ini memang bukan hakku

Aku pun sadar, tak layak ku menuntut

Karena anugerah-Nya sudah cukup bagiku

Namun, tetap aku mendapati hatiku

Menginginkan, dan menanti

Dalam kegelisahan dan mencoba beriman

Di tengah kabut tebal yang tak pasti jalannya

A Scribble and A Dream (17) - I, Thy Groom

I, Thy Groom

As I was running

Running away

And my heart trembled

Full of uneasiness

It felt like a rollercoaster ride

As I denied the One who saved me

The One who deserved me the most

Finding myself a runaway bride

Until He called me subtly

Whispering so softly

Yet struck me loudly

Forcing me to listen clearly

"I am Thy Groom

I am thine Redeemer
I have bought you
Give you freedom from slavery
All through My blood
Running through that rugged cross"

"And though you have always run away

Though you have always repeatedly betray Me
Yet I will not cease to search and call
Come home, and repent!"

O, young lady in waiting...
Is there any greater love than this?
Other than His who loves you unconditionally?
He who is waiting for you to trust Him
And be fulfilled in Him?

Trust Him, and be content in Him,
Serve Him without holding back,
Never seek happiness, love and joy outside of Him

For He is forever Our Savior
Our most glorious, heavenly Bridegroom
And we are forever His Bride

***

A Scribble and A Dream (16) - A Letter From A Lady, to Her Brothers

A LETTER FROM A LADY

To Her Beloved Brothers

My dear brothers,

I don't know whether this letter

Will fulfill its purpose in helping others

Especially my other sisters in Christ

But please, if you have the time to read

Consider its content, and if it's wise enough

Do not abandon my letter

My dear brothers, I have long heard that

Our requirements for our future partner,

The expectations of the Christian woman in our church, to be exact,

Is just too high, too perfect and too unattainable

And that's exactly why many of us are still single,

Even you can find those ladies in waiting, whose age is above 30

Now, let me ask you something

We have all attended the same sermon

And learned from the same Scripture

Maybe some of us even attended

The same wedding ceremonies of our mutual friends

Do you remember what is the single lesson echoed

Over and over and over again

Through all those teachings we've heard

Regarding the relationships of husband and wife?

Regarding how building a relationship between a boy and a girl ought to be?

This is what I remember:

Man should lead, woman should submit

Man should love, woman should respect

Man should be like Christ, and woman should be like the faithful church of Christ

And above all things mentioned before

Man and woman should always love Christ, first and foremost

And so their every relationship must be build on Christ

On wanting to learn more about God,

And to learn to love and obey Him more and more

And so, in a healthy relationship between man and woman

They ought to love Christ more than they love each other

Because only when the love of Christ is in them,

Only then, will true love flourish between human

Now, if all these things I remember is the truth

Is it too over the top for us

To hope to find a boy, a brother in Christ

That will lead us to pray together

To read the Bible together

To discuss books together

To sing hymns together

To encourage one another in our earthly service and calling,

the heavenly race entrusted to us?

Is it too much for us to hope for the above

even more than dating us according to the popular cultures?

To build our friendship, not by going to the movies

Or to those money-hoarding cafes and shopping malls?

And, if a man are supposed to love and protect a woman,

Is it too much if we ask for safety from you?

We understand that sometimes, our parents ask for too much.

"Use a car, use a taxi!"

"No motorcycle allowed, this world is not safe!"

And it puts us into a deep dillema,

For we know how hard your finance is,

Yet we don't want our parents to worry,

Or worst, to blame you should something unwanted happen.

It will surely crush our hearts,

To see our parent's sad and worried face,

And to see you regret our youthful, immature actions,

And it's certainly not because we don't want to struggle together with you in times of poor!

If a taxi is too much, just do it the old fashioned way!
I bet those lovely couples in the Bible
"Only" chat in front of their father's tent
Or in front of the water wells
During their courtship days
And yet, their love still blossoms!

If the sister you're courting is as kind and wise as Ruth,

She will not be disappointed, I'm sure of it!

For nothing beats more than learning to know each other

And spending time with each other,

All the while keeping ourselves from becoming a stumbling block.

Oh, and another thing,

Please don't be afraid to befriend our parents

Or to ask us to befriend your parents

Should your relationship with a particular sister

Is according to His right time and will

Her parents will eventually become yours, too

And your parents will eventually become hers!

Brothers, it is a hard journey for you

In fact, it is all a truly impossible mission!

We all understand

But be brave!

Be strong and courageous!

Not by your own strength, but Christ's!

We all have our shortcomings, we are all imperfect

And that includes us, the ladies in waiting

We learned to struggle, to become a faithful and pure lady

Just like Ruth is to Boaz

Just like Sarah is to Abraham

Just like a church is to her Heavenly Bridegroom,

Our Lord, Jesus Christ

And we are also far away from the heavenly standards set to us

But that just means there's room to grow!

Be confident, pray fervently,

And take the first step!

Leaders lead by giving examples and learning from mistakes.

Give us that example, and let's learn together from our errors!

And the last, but not the least,

To you, my brothers,

To you who have already found a godly sister

The one who keeps nagging you

To read the Bible and be discipline in daily devotionals

The one who drags you to Bible classes and seminars

The one who scolds you when you're sleeping or playing

During those boring, tiring Sunday sermons

Keep her! Don't you dare to ever let her go!

For she is like a beautiful pearl to you,

So precious, so lovely. 

And she will surely not make you into sin

By prioritizing her love to you

And making you into her idol

Replacing Christ with you, and thus pulling herself into idolatry

For the faithful sister knows

What her priority ought to be

That she ought to hold fast

To her faith

To her Heavenly Bridegroom

To her ever loving, faithful Savior

May you all find your Ms. Right

According to His faithful providence and plan in your life

***

A Scribble and A Dream (15) - Gemerincing Si Riak Kecil

Gemerincing Si Riak Kecil

Cing, cing, kerincing
Rasa hati beriak-riak kecil
Bak sungai berair bening
Rindukan hilir walau ia mungil

Cing, cing, kerincing
Kala hati menanti-nanti
Kisah indah yang belum datang
Ibarat dunia mimpi dan para peri

Hanya ia dan dirinya seorang
Musik dan tari berdendang
Gaun lembut halus melambai
Iringin langkah nyanyian hati

Hanya ia dan dirinya seorang
Nikmati melankolisnya melodi
Dengan hati terbungkus rapi
Terbuai galaunya sepi dan sedih

Dan ia berhenti
Menatap diri di ruang sepi
Melihat dia yang di dalam kaca
Membaca emosi tak tertumpahkan

Menelisik isi hati
Gejolak rindu dan pasrah
Ingin sabar menanti
Belajar sanggup berserah

Di tengah kerincing gemerincing
Riak-riak kecil di hati

***

A Scribble and A Dream (14) - A Small Turbulence

A SMALL TURBULENCE

A month has passed

She has understood

That surrendering to Him in faith

Means giving her undivided heart to her Heavenly Groom

Since then, she has tried to remember

All that she read reminded her

To that promise she made to Him

That day when she read it in a book

Ah, how good intention of friends

Could sometime become the means

For the accuser to rock her determination

And make her fragile, unfaithful heart waver

Just when she decided to forget that person

And focus instead on what's in front of her

To duly, full heartedly finish the current calling

Entrusted by Him to her

Just a single chat

Telling her how her truly good friends have tried

To convince that person to approach her

And her heart immediately hoped for the thing

That she is not yet entitled to, not yet granted to have

Just how silly, how ungrateful and how unbelieving

How unfaithful a human's heart can be!

And yet she learned

How she found her peace back

By telling her Heavenly Groom aloud

Asking Him to console her and guard her heart

Asking Him to strengthen her to chase away the accuser

"Go away, you accuser!

Go away, you who seek to bring me farther away from His love!

Go away, you who seek to make me question His timing!

Go away, you who seek to make me doubt His best plans!"

And thus

In the midst of a turbulence

She learned that only His grace

Will help her get through

A small turbulence

is just what she needed to take another step forward

in learning to love and trust her Heavenly Groom

And for that,

She is again grateful.

***

My Personal Bible Journal - 1 Korintus 4

1 KORINTUS 4

PELAYANAN PARA RASUL

OK, ini akan jadi jurnal pertama yang gw tulis tentang refleksi gw saat baca Alkitab. Hopefully bisa bertahan jurnalnya, karena sebenarnya yang memerlukan ini, pertama dan terutama, adalah diri gw sendiri. Namun jika entah dari mana, ada yang baca refleksi singkat saya di dalam blog yang semi-semi private ini (karena saking terpencilnya), gw bakal bersyukur banget sama Tuhan.

LAI (Lembaga Alkitab Indonesia) memberi berbagai sub judul untuk pasal ini. Tapi versi ESV memberi judul "Pelayanan para rasul (the ministry of apostles)". Anyway, let's dive into it.

Paulus membuka pasal ini dengan kalimat, "This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God (1 Kor 4:1)". Dalam bahasa Indonesia, "Demikianlah hendaknya orang memandang kami: sebagai hamba-hamba Kristus yang kepadanya dipercayakan rahasia Allah." Lah, emang sekarang ini, bagaimana orang-orang Korintus memandang Paulus?

Ternyata ini terkait sama pasal 1:12 dan pasal 3, di mana dalam jemaat Korintus itu disebut terjadi perpecahan. Ada yang bilang, "Gue golongan Paulus!" atau "Gue golongan Apolos!" atau "Gue golongan Kefas/Petrus!" Yang lebih keren, ada yang bilang "Gue golongan Kristus!". Entah apa dasarnya mereka bikin berbagai golongan ini, yang pasti ini bikin jemaat Korintus jadi ribut, berantem sendiri. Padahal, ini jemaat yang - kalau yang saya dengar dari berbagai kotbah - paling dapat berkat, mereka "kaya dalam segala hal: dalam segala macam perkataan dan segala macam pengetahuan... tidak kekurangan dalam suatu karunia pun... (1 Kor 1:5,7)"      *huft*

OK, back to chapter 4. Jadi Paulus mau bilang di sini, setelah beberapa teguran di pasal-pasal sebelumnya, kalau para rasul dan pelayan itu hanya sesama pelayan, hamba Kristus, nothing less, nothing more. Dan apa itu sesuatu jabatan buat keren-kerenan? Yang terhormat? Yang enak?

Ga juga tuh...

Pertama, apa syaratnya dan tuntutan buat para pelayan/hamba ini? Setia (1 Kor 4:2). Singkat yah? Coba kita lanjut dulu...

Ayat-ayat berikutnya, 1 Korintus 4:3-5, bicara tentang apa yang jadi judul di Alkitab LAI. Di sini Paulus mengingatkan kita, bahwa pelayanan dan pekerjaan yang kita lakukan, tidak boleh dihakimi oleh siapapun, entah itu diri sendiri, orang lain yang belum percaya, atau bahkan sesama orang Kristen, selain daripada Tuhan. Tapi pelayanan dan pekerjaan yang positif yah maksudnya, jangan nanti dikira pekerjaan yang negatif ga boleh ditegur. Kalau ga, buat apa Paulus nulis surat ini, yang isinya sebagian besar teguran semua? :-p

Jadi, siapa satu-satunya yang boleh dan layak menilai pekerjaan dan pelayanan kita? Ga lain ga bukan, cuma Tuhan saja. Yup, cuma Dia. Why? Karena cuma Dia yang sanggup "menerangi, juga apa yang tersembunyi did dalam kegelapan, dan yang akan memperlihatkan apa yang direncanakan di dalam hati manusia (terj. semi bebas dari 1 Kor 4:5). Tuhan lah yang akan memberikan ganjaran bagi apa yang kita lakukan, karena itu kita harus bertanggung jawab masing-masing di hadapan Tuhan.

Dan Paulus ngomong gini, bukan cuma "omdo (omong doang)" loh... Dia sendiri sudah terapkan, baik ke dirinya sendiri maupun ke Apolos.Tujuannya? Supaya jemaat di Korintus belajar dari teladan mereka untuk "tidak melampaui apa yang tertulis" dan tidak saling menyombongkan diri di antara sesama mereka (1 Kor 4:6).

Kenapa ga boleh sombong? Karena semua yang mereka miliki kekayaan dalam perkataan, pengetahuan dan karunia itu, bahkan Injil yang mereka percaya pun, itu semua pemberian!. Kalau kita punya kekayaan/harta, tapi itu semua bukan hasil usaha kita, melainkan dikasih cuma-cuma, yah memang seharusnya ga ada ruang bagi kita untuk sombong, ya gak?

Di ayat-ayat berikutnya, ayat 8-13, Paulus masuk poin kedua, sambil separuh frustasi ngomelin jemaat Korintus yang uda nyasar ini. "Lu itu uda kenyang! Uda dianugerahi kekayaan!" Tanpa kami, kamu telah menjadi raja!" Berasa rada nyindir sih... Paulus lalu lanjut membicarakan, apa gampang mau setia sebagai hamba Tuhan, sebagai rasul? Coba liat listingnya Paulus:

1. Para rasul diberikan tempat yang paling rendah, sama seperti orang-orang yang telah dijatuhi hukuman mati,
2. Para rasul telah menjadi tontonan bagi dunia, bagi malaikat-malaikat dan bagi manusia.
3. Para rasul bodoh oleh karena Kristus, tetapi jemaat Korintus arif dalam Kristus.
4. Para rasul lemah, tetapi jemaat Korintus kuat.
5. Para rasul mulia, tetapi jemaat Korintus hina.
6. Sampai pada saat ini para rasul lapar, haus, telanjang, dipukul dan hidup mengembara, serta melakukan pekerjaan tangan yang berat.
7. Kalau para rasul dimaki, para rasul memberkati;
8. Kalau para rasul dianiaya, para rasul sabar;
9. Kalau para rasul difitnah, para rasul tetap menjawab dengan ramah;
10. Para rasul telah menjadi sama dengan sampah dunia, sama dengan kotoran dari segala sesuatu, sampai pada saat ini.

Enak? Ga sama sekali... Orang normal pasti ga mau hidup kayak gitu, kecuali kalau betul-betul dapat kekuatan dan penghiburan dari Tuhan sendiri.

Terus buat apa Paulus nyebutin semua "jasa"-nya ini di sini? Buat nyombong karena dia uda lebih setia daripada jemaat di Korintus? Salah banget! Paulus bilang, "Hal ini kutuliskan bukan untuk memalukan kamu, tetapi untuk menegor kamu sebagai anak-anakku yang kukasihi. (1 Kor 4:14)" Paulus sebagai bapa rohani yang memberitakan Injil kepada mereka, dan begitu mengasihi mereka, merasa perlu untuk menegor mereka, para anak-anak rohaninya yang sudah mulai menyimpang. Persis seperti apa yang dibilang di Amsal 3:11-12 dan Amsal 13:24. Monggo dicek yo...

Kalau dipikir-pikir yah, di gereja masa kini pun, kita akan sangat banyak menjumpai pendidik di dalam Kristus, seperti apa yang Paulus tulis ayat 15. Pendidiknya juga macam-macam, mulai dari yang benar dan jadi teladan yang baik, sampai yang "agak" ngaco dan ga kasih contoh teladan yang baik, malah jadi batu sandungan... Makanya Paulus ingetin lagi, "Turutilah teladanku!", turutilah teladan bapa rohani kita. Dan untuk itu juga, Paulus kirim Timotius kepada mereka, supaya Timotius bisa memperingatkan mereka akan hidup yang Paulus turuti dalam Kristus Yesus, seperti yang Paulus ajarkan di berbagai jemaat (1 Kor 4:16).

Paulus lalu kembali memperingatkan para anggota jemaat Korintus yang berkata-kata sombong bahwa, "Kerajaan Allah bukan terdiri dari perkataan, tetapi dari kuasa." Dan, saking gemesnya sama jemaat Korintus, kalau di konteks sekarang, mungkin ucapan terakhir Paulus dalam pasal ini bakal jadi, "Jadi lu mau gue gimana? Mau gue datang pakai cambuk buat mukul, atau mau pakai hati yang penuh kasih dan lemah lembut?"

Ini sekaligus bisa jadi poin refleksi kita juga. Apakah kita ini juga, tanpa sadar, seperti jemaat Korintus? Kita yang tinggal di Ibukota, di mana segalanya ada, material, seminar yang baik, kotbah-kotbah yang baik. Untuk apa kita belajar dan ikut semuanya itu? Untuk apa kita pelayanan? Apa untuk cari nama bagi diri sendiri? Untuk menyombongkan dan menaikkan status kita? Untuk saling menghakimi jika ada sesama saudara seiman yang berbuat salah? Untuk berdebat dan bikin keributan?

Atau untuk saling membangun di tengah situasi yang, walau tampak sempurna, tetap masih dicemari oleh dosa? Untuk saling menguatkan dan menghibur di tengah penganiayaan dan peperangan yang tak terlihat, yang sedang kita hadapi bersama saat ini?

Dan apakah kita sudah berdoa bagi para bapa rohani dan pendidik kita di dalam Tuhan, agar Tuhan menjaga mereka untuk tetap memiliki hati yang penuh kasih untuk mendidik dan menegur para anak-anak rohani mereka, sekaligus supaya jangan sampai mereka sendiri akhirnya terseret dan terhilang? Ini bukan peristiwa yang ga mungkin loh! Terakhir, apa kita sudah berdoa agar kita semua diberi kesetiaan dan kerendahhatian di tengah segala godaan untuk menjadi sombong, godaan untuk lupa anugerah Tuhan, dan segala hambatan dan tantangan untuk lari dari teladan Kristus, yang diteladani oleh Paulus dan para bapa gereja kita di jemaat mula-mula?

Semoga segala kemuliaan dikembalikan kepada Tuhan, yang memberikan kita hati yang mau bertobat dan kekuatan untuk kembali belajar mengasihi Dia. Dan jika ada yang sesat atau kurang tepat, mohon tegurannya...

A Scribble and A Dream (13) - Joyfully Single

JOYFULLY SINGLE

Another day has arrived

She wake up, full of hope

That today will be wonderful

She comes to her office

Knowing that a lot of work awaits

Determined to give it the best that she can

She goes on meeting people

Some jokingly teases her

Others kindly asks on her future partner

But her heart is at peace

No longer disturbed...

Because she know

That releasing that desire

She had cling on to so desperately

And surrender it all

To the her Heavenly Father who knows all

Is what gives her freedom

The freedom that she need

To learn to become a bride

A bride to her Heavenly Bridegroom

To He who has died and given all His life

Providing ransom and release

Out of sin's slavery

And as a bride,

She is free to serve Him

To learn to love Him

Seeking Him, listening to Him

Day after day

Learning to please Him

Seeking to become closer to Him

And to become more like Him

Undistracted...

Until the day comes

According to His divine decree

When she will meet her earthly bridegroom

Who will protect her and love her

But most of all, he will guide and lead her

To love her Heavenly Bridegroom even more

So, until that day

She is full of faith

That in His love

She will be joyfully single 😊

A Scribble and A Dream (12) - Suatu Pencerahan

SUATU PENCERAHAN

Kenapa ia tak memikirkannya sejak dulu?
Ya, itulah semua jawaban
Untuk gundah gulananya
Selama dua bulan terakhir ini

Tidak, bahkan lebih dari itu
Inilah jawaban untuk apa yang mengganggu hatinya
Selama bertahun-tahun
Hidupnya sebagai seorang single

Mengapa tampak tak seorang pun yang "mendekatinya"?
Itu adalah suatu sebab-akibat
Jika rumah dan kantor menjadi satu-satunya tempat singgahnya
Jelaslah tak kan ada satu orang pun yang mendekatinya
Karena ia tak akan pernah dekat dengan satu orang pun

Baik pria, baik wanita
Ia harus keluar
Keluar dari cangkang yang melindunginya selama ini

Mengapa tampak tak seorang pun yang "jatuh hati"?
Itu pun adalah suatu sebab-akibat
Jika kesendirian membahagiakan baginya
Dan dunia luar tak mau ia sentuh
Maka ia tak mengerti, apa yang disebut peduli

Sebelum ditemani, ia harus belajar menemani
Sebelum dipedulikan, ia harus belajar mempedulikan
Sebelum didekati, ia harus belajar mendekati
Sebelum dicintai, ia harus belajar mencintai

Belajar menjadi seorang sahabat yang baik
Itulah jawaban bagi semua pertanyaannya

Dan sebuah beban terangkat dari pundaknya
Terlepas dan terbuang jauh

Kini, ia bisa mengucapkan selamat tinggal
Pada seseorang, yang selayaknya tak ada rasa padanya
Pada seseorang, yang baginya, ia bukanlah teman yang sepantasnya
Pada seseorang, yang adalah impian kosong dan harapan muluk

Ia sudah rela
Siapapun itu, entah berapa tahun lagi
Jika ia baru akan berhenti single
Di usia, yang kata orang, terlalu tua

Siapa peduli?
Ia sudah rela, dengan sepenuh hatinya
Ia sudah siap melangkah maju kembali
Lebih cepat dari yang ia duga...

A Scribble and A Dream (11) - Superficial

SUPERFICIAL

She knows...

She has always known...

On the outside

They are her friends

They are on good terms

They are very friendly and warm

But inside her heart,

When it feels like

She needed a friend to turn to

She found no one

Is it that she's afraid to become vulnerable?

Is it that she's afraid to ruin

Her already not-so-perfect mask?

Is it that she trusted no one except herself?

Maybe that's why

When she tried to reached out

She found herself unintentionally shut away by others

Because she has always shut herself in

She has chosen to be untouched by others

And so far,

That's what she thinks is the best for all

So that she will burden no one

No one, except for her so understanding father

'Should you know who I really am

All my deepest emotions and shoutouts

Will you go away in disgust?'

'Yes, I'm very self-absorbed.

And in writing, I keep myself sane.

Keeping hold of this emotions

I thought I must throw away.'

And thus, she ended her scribble for the day

A day that has almost ended

A week that will soon pass away

Preparing for the week that is soon to come

***

A Scribble and A Dream (10) - SMS

SMS

SMS
It stands for:
Short message service

That's how people used to chat
Well, like, 15 years ago
Short messages, with acceptably short replies
Just effective and efficient

But here,
Right now,
Her phone shows a Whatsapp logo,
Yet it feels like an SMS

How could she dare to talk more
If all he ever give is a short, concise reply?
Well, for small, idle talks, that is...

Is he busy? Annoyed?
Does she always pick the wrong time?
Does she disturb him?
Is she annoying?

Except for the serious things
Except for those things that matters
Those that need to be consulted

Other than that,
It is always as short as an SMS reply
With a full stop and a "hehehe... ☺"

She fully understand
That patience is the best answer for her
His mind is full of something else
He's in one of the crucial times in his life

And yet...
She can't do anything for him

As if a "next door neighbour"
Just acquaintances, saying "How do you do?"
Too afraid to step in further
For the fence is closed and locked

Maybe she's just too sentimental
Maybe her expectations grow too fast, too high
Maybe she's just too...
So many a thousand maybe-s spinning in her mind

And here she is,
A girl, too sheltered in the warmth of her house
A girl, too confused to step out of it
A girl, wanting to do something, yet not knowing how

A girl who's puzzled, lost in wondering
A girl, too awkward in her social skills

Maybe she's better off by herself
Maybe she's better off pouring things
In another scribble while dreaming

***

A Scribble and A Dream (9) - Unrequited

UNREQUITED

What is this?
This mind that won't go away
Caught myself thinking about him
Day by day

They say, "You like him"
They say, "It's the start of love"
And maybe, just maybe
I hope that it's true

For I know, I ain't pretty
Just a serious girl with no makeup
Just that girl who is seating across

But everytime I see him, hear him
I just feel so happy, hopelessly glad
Though I know that maybe, so much likely
This is just on my side with no reply

Yet, please let me hope
Please let me try
Please let me pray
Please let me love you, though in vain

For every season,
There's a time
I'm used to it, smiling bittersweet
Please let me be, till I walk away again

UNREQUITED