~ MISSING SOMEONE, KINDA BADLY ~
Hi, how are you doing? Are you missing someone?
You do, right? Kinda badly, everytime you think of her, your chest tighten.
And you felt like you hit a wall. Don't know what to say, or to ask.
You find yourself missing talking to her as like in the past.
Imagining how maybe only seeing her could make your heart leap in happiness like crazy.
Are you obsessed with her? Maybe no, since it shouldn't be like that.
It's just that, you missed her, as one of those friend with whom you can talk to and sing to until late at night.
And, you're not sure how she'll react if you told her, "I miss you" since it sounds so sentimental. And, well, sentimental doesn't sound right. But she has her sentimental side though, and a deep, deep one at that.
You've seen it in some rare circumstances up to a few months ago.
Well, you're pretty much afraid if she's going to, unintentionally, seem as if she rejects you. Unintentionally, since most of the time, that's not the case.
It's just that, both of you are such heavy introverts at this time, it's funny.
And vexing at the same time.
She could be busy, or is dealing with pain due to her autoimmunity, or is in other ordeal.
Your mind keeps telling you not to get anxious, and it goes in circle, over and over.
"What am I, to her? Just some acquaintance? Or, a not-so-close friend?"
"Hey girl, does that even matter? So what if you're just an acquaintance or not-so-close friend to her? Both of you have your own inner circles, don't you?"
"Beware of getting attached again to somebody. Being clingy is not good! Don't fall into the same trap hoping the same thing like you did in the past with that guy!"
"You know what, hoping wouldn't get you anywhere. If anything, it would only disappoint you."
You feel your mind getting crazier and crazier the more you write. And you hate yourself being like this.
Since you only want one thing. Perhaps, more than anything, even more than a lover.
You only want a close friend. Someone you can proudly call "inner circle" since you know it is reciprocal.
A not-one-sided connection is all you ever wanted.
And denying yourself that kind of assurance, is weighing heavily in your mind and heart.
Since you know, most likely, that's not how the other person operates.
So, how should you approach this? Should you contact her and blatantly tell her, "I miss you."?
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