Senin, 16 April 2018

A Scribble and A Dream (30) - Distance


Distance

The morning sun fills up the room.
The scenes of your early days crossed my mind.
And I can only wonder.
Do you feel the way I do, right now?

I don't know if one day I'll give up.
But I will regret it if I do it now.
I know we're really falling apart.
There I stand helplessly, seeing your wounded heart.

Cause we're only human.
And you bleed when you fall down.
Cause we're only human.
And we crash, and we break down.

My words in your head, my knive's in your heart.
I build you up, and then you fall apart.
It's because of me.
I know, it's because of me.

So I'll keep my distance.
Say I cared when you're not listening.

I couldn't stand so close to you.
Not anymore, it makes me hard to breath, too.
I want you to see, yet I don't know how.

I'll still give everything I have.
To save what is left, though shattered to pieces.
Until I know you'll understand.

And even if I fail, and all shall be in vain.
I only wished to see you smile again, someday.
Smile and laugh, be bright.
Though maybe not for me.

It's okay, though it's not for me.

I'll keep waiting.
And I'll keep my distance.
Say I cared when you're not listening.
If that's what you need.
To smile again.

***

Disclaimer: Some of the lines here are taken from Christina Perri's songs, "Distance" and "Human". She sang this possibly for someone who hurt her, or for her unrequited love. And this, is more like a reply should I be in the position of that someone she sang for. Well, I guess I am in that kind of position now.

I could only hope that the impossible will happen, that someday, I don't know somehow, that particular someone will see this, and know that this is what I wish for him, as a friend who have hurt him, and in turn, also got hurt myself in the aftermath. Even as the one at fault, I feel bitter inside my heart, seeing that, as of now, I can not tell him how much I want to mend things up.

So, just like what the lines said. I'll keep my distance, and I'll keep waiting. If one day I could see him smile again, that would be enough for me.

***

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